Doomed to Hell

If I make a million
One might make a difference
But I threw them away
She was right
But she's a liar
She said so herself
The smile this morning
makes me crazy
you're not scared
we think for each other
I started it
it's all my fault
just like everything
I don't want anyone to be like me
I hate myself
I love myself
it's just me
selfish
depression
a morality tale
the memories come scaring
to make me realize
how wrong
and I wish I had died
and if I don't end this pretty
a plea to God
I'm doomed to hell on hearth
where is the forgiveness?